Slip and.....

It was in the year 2000, when I was 22 years old and was doing my PGDCA, the first time I thought of finishing my life. I was doing my course with much dedication and I was much successful too. But in the second semester period I came across a bad situation. As I had already mentioned, I actually doesn’t like to disturb others – even my parents – for more than they should do for me. Before a year and a half I was doing a lot of physical works and then I stopped it all of a sudden. Because of that – due to a long period of no physical workouts – I think, I got arthritis. I got swelling and pain in all my joints from my angles, knees toward my hips and even on shoulders. I was not able to walk, even in my house. Everything was getting difficult. And I was in a situation to lean on my Papas shoulder to walk to the hospital and all. He too was not good on health and was having angina.
The pain was nothing to me. I was able to tolerate it. But, to be in the house all time, immobility, and the problems I am making to my parents and brothers, all made me irritated. I was taking ayurvedic medicines which has the taste nobody can explain. There was sweetness, bitterness, acidity and all in the medicines in many proportion. Which may make you vomit. But I took it like nothing. I was not able to use salt, chillies, or curd. Fish or Meat was denyed. I just had my breakfast with porridge and a vegetable curry with out salt. For lunch it was just rice and vegitables and sometimes fish dryed without salt. I was ok with the food and medicine. I can eat any food with any taste. Any medicine with any taste was also ok. But, I was irritated, bored, and probably mad.
One day, I was in my room and was reading something. It was raining outside. In an interval I lifted my head and saw the wooden bars that supports the roofing tiles. I thought this is the time for IT. I had in my room the rope which I used to tie the rings for doing exercise. The time was perfect. As the rain was hard out side, any sound may not be heared ourside. The door of my room was also locked as usual. And to reach the top – there was my windows to help. I made the decision. I forgot the pain. Put one of my legs down. A sound distracted me. The wooden bar which I aimed to tie the rope fell down. I think it was been degenerated by that problem which happens to the wood, when it lacks maturity when cutting. The tiles above stood there with the help of much smaller 2, 3 wooden pieces.
Papa came hearing the sound. He said I am lucky, that it doesn’t fell over me. I was not able to complete my aim, then.
Later, when I have some happy moments in my life, with my friends or family, I use to think about this incident just to blame myself how immature was I. And till I came in front of such an accidental situation later, this was my inspiration to live, which told me I SHOULD LIVE.